Spank Bank

I was watching Rescue Me yesterday, which by the way is a great show, and this term "spank bank" came up in the episode. Stay in your seat, calm down, let me explain! One of the firefighters is married. His wife had a big box of porn. She used the porn to get off. You know what I mean? And she finally threw her big box of porn away. So, she told her firefighter husband that she was going to use the "spank bank" to get off. That's when he said that he'll use his spank bank as well. Ok, so the spank bank is for the jacker offer to use his/her imagination, fantasy, and such to get off on without the help of videos or pictures. The whole idea is that who do you fantasize about when you use the spank bank. I'm not going to say who is in my spank bank. Yes I am. WARNING: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, THEN STOP READING RIGHT NOW!

Jessica Alba, of course, is always available at the spank bank. The rest are:

Eva Longoria
Denise Richards
Rose McGowen
Kate Beckinsale
Charisma Carpenter
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Angie Everhart
Nicole Kidman
Salma Hayek
my old college Math C teacher
a certain Spanish teacher from high school
when I first started doing that, a teacher from middle school
a mom of a girl I graduated with

So I seem to got a pretty full spank bank. It comes in handy. I don't have to buy magazines and videos to hide from my parents, or watch videos online when my parents are home, thanks to my trusty spank bank. Life is good.

No Call

Well, Nob Hill hasn't called, so that must mean they don't wanna hire me. How fucking retarded is that? I did a damn good job at my interview and practically told them I would work all hours of the day if I had to. So freaking stupid. That just ruined my summer. I really wanted to work there. I guess I better try Santa Nella and maybe Patterson. I don't think anywhere in Patterson would hire me, but it's worth a shot. I really need a job. I'm not doing anything right this summer. It's horrible. Today makes it one week until my birthday (24th). Sofia is coming up from Fresno on the 23rd. Too bad she's a Jehova's Witness. Jenny is one too, but I think they'll still "celebrate" my birthday with me that day. It's so weird how they don't celebrate anything, not even their birthdays. I remember a while back when me and Jenny went to see Disturbia (great movie) and she said to me, "Did you know that the theater is open on Christmas?" I said, "Really? I didn't really know that. I might've assumed it I guess." Then she said, "Yeah, me and my parents go to the movies on Christmas. It's practically empty." Then I laughed and said, "Wow, you don't say." Using her as an example, I can make the assumption that Jehova Witness people go to the movie theater on Christmas, while I eat turkey and open presents. Score one for the Catholics! I should stick to the title of the post. Speaking of Jenny, I called her on Friday, for we were suppose to see Knocked Up that day. She didn't answer her phone and I left a voicemail for her to call me back. I never got the call back. Frankly, I was upset, but got over it. She apologized like a million times. This post will come to an end. I have a newfound love for blogging...David.

In The Middle Of The Night

I was walking in my sleep. I think the title and that first sentence is part of a Billy Joel song. I'm mostly likely right about that. Anyways, time for my infamous rant. I've been going to bed really late lately. The past few nights I find myself going to bed at 4 in the morning. Then I wake up at 12 and my day zooms by and the same thing happens again for the night. Due to this, I've been trying to get myself a job, so that I don't continue my obvious bum-like life.

I went to my job interview yesterday at Nob Hill. It was at 10 in the morning. I haven't woken up that early since I've been on vacation. The interview went alright. When they mentioned they were interviewing other people that got me kinda pissed. I was hoping the job would be given to me right there and then. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't call me. They kept bringing up what my school schedule was and time and time again I had to tell them, "Tuesdays and Thursday from 9-30-3:30." Very annoying. And everytime they talked about losing customers they would use the deli as an example. The manager, Bob, would say, "Say you didn't make their sandwich right. Just tell them they can have it for free. See, you didn't make them mad and they'll wanna come back. They will also tell friends about the nice gesture and that'll bring in more customers." He also said, "Say you messed up the birthday cake. Just say you'll give them a free bucket of ice cream to go with it." The whole time during those explanations I was thinking, 'Dang. Bob must be freaking hungry.'

I called Jenny afterwards, hoping she would actually answer her phone and we could get coffee or something, but no answer. I'm suppose to see Knocked Up with her. And then this weekend, I'm suppose to see Fantastic 4 with Jasmine. Then me and Kent, and I assume others, are gonna see Transformers at midnight when it comes out. This is gonna be a movie theater summer for me. Well, the only other movie I wanna see besides those 3 is The Simpsons Movie. I can't wait for that.

That's pretty much it. I still got around 2 hours before I go to sleep. Might as well see if Fresh Prince of Bel Air is on. Until next time, humble readers.